A variation of this message originally showed up on September 22, 2025, in Eater and Punch’s newsletter Pre Shift , a biweekly newsletter for the industry pro that sources first-person accounts from the bar and restaurant globe.
We’re right here to speak about a feared four-letter word in the sector: Yelp. You do not need me to inform us just how bothersome, vicious, and occasionally inaccurate that testimonial system can be, yet you additionally can not deny that Yelp’s influence is anywhere today , resembled in platforms like Resy, Beli, or Google Maps. This year, Eater has actually been celebrating its 20 th birthday celebration by looking back on the last two decades, and we would certainly be remiss to speak about them without stating the app, birthed a year prior to Eater, that you love to hate.
“Climaxes on the tongue?”
Brandon Hoy, co-owner of the epic Brooklyn pizzeria Roberta’s , applauds the “snarkiness” of a 2010 testimonial from a user called Ariel: “The pizza’s pretty good but based upon a few of the other evaluations right here you ‘d believe that it triggers multiple orgasms upon touching your tongue, offers you the self-confidence to quit your shitty work as a babysitter to a successful Manhattanite power pair to seek your desire as an avant-guard [sic] spoken word efficiency musician, and clear up that breakout of pimples on your face in the nick of time for the weekend.”
A 21 st birthday failed
Derek Piva, the exec cook of the “wilderness-to-table” dining establishment Tu Tu’ Tun Lodge in Gold Beach, Oregon, remembers a review after a 21 st birthday celebration. “Fourteen visitors showed up, got hugely drunk, and 2 of them threw up at the table– after that attempted to hide it by pressing it below. The birthday celebration woman fell out of her heels and finished the night in an ambulance,” he says. “The testimonial? One celebrity– for ‘spoiling their party.’ Obviously, we were expected to anticipate the bodily liquids and bad shoes options.”
Laila Bazahm, the cook and co-owner that exectues the Barcelona-inspired food selection at El Raval in Austin, Texas, had one customer inquiry her political association based on the red wine menu. “I received a review from a visitor that implicated me of being an Independista!” claims Bazahm claims, “which I think is very funny!” The review specified: “The proprietor has to be pro-independence or something, otherwise I do not recognize how they have so many Catalan and French glass of wines and not one Rioja or Ribera del Duero, I’m Catalan however the good white wine in Spain is not in Catalonia.”
Factor 7 in New york city City’s MetLife structure is understood for its fish and shellfish, including a considerable roster of sushi, sashimi, aguachile, and crudo. “I received a testimonial that the raw fish was as well raw,” stated chef Franklin Becker. The testimonial in question grumbles that “every little thing was undercooked.”
Steve Chu, co-owner of Ekiben in Baltimore, claims that the testimonial system has “been a means to democratize food evaluations.” That being stated, there’s one Yelp blog post that still makes his blood boil. “Throughout the pandemic, somebody claimed that we existed regarding being a Black-owned company,” he bears in mind. “I posted it on our Instagram to make clear that Ekiben is Black-owned and to put regard on [co-owner] Ephrem [Abebe]’s name.” Soon after, the user changed their evaluation — consisting of to say “WTF, the flavor was absolutely nothing like I have ever before experienced in my life. This is my brand-new favored place”– and upped the celebrity score.